This week, I sat down with
, who's spent over 20 years building intentional communities in Costa Rica while navigating his own journey with sobriety. What started as a conversation about alternative living quickly became something deeper—an exploration of how sobriety doesn't just change what we create, but how we experience the creative process itself.Edward's story challenged everything I thought I knew about the relationship between substances and creativity. From his days as a nightclub promoter in New York to playing Native American flutes in the Costa Rican jungle, his journey reveals how numbing ourselves—whether through substances or workaholism—blocks the very creative fire we're trying to access. This conversation reminded me why I started The Sober Creative in the first place: to prove that our most authentic work emerges not despite sobriety, but because of it.
Show Notes
[03:00] The Origin Story: When Numbing Begins
Edward traces his substance use back to childhood trauma and family dysfunction
Early experimentation with substances as escape from uncomfortable emotions
Recognition that numbing started as a survival mechanism during adolescence
The pattern of avoiding reality rather than learning to process difficult feelings
[06:00] The Nightclub Years and Early Addiction Patterns
Promoting nightclubs in high school while maintaining straight-A student facade
The embarrassing night his mother caught him on ecstasy—sleeping between his parents while rolling
Distinction between alcohol (never a problem) and marijuana (his primary addiction)
How he became an expert at hiding his substance use from family and authorities
[12:00] Plant Medicine and the Blurred Lines
Edward's mother's insight: "Drugs and parties just became ceremony and medicine"
The challenge of distinguishing between healing and recreational use with psychedelics
Years of ayahuasca ceremonies and the eventual recognition of leisure masquerading as spirituality
Why he's cautious about endorsing plant medicine despite personal benefits
[16:00] The December Turning Point
How getting sick with COVID-like symptoms created a natural break from substances
Being encouraged to try a 12-step program (Marijuana Anonymous) by a trusted mentor
The mentor's promise: "This will be the deepest spiritual journey you've ever done"
Initial resistance to 12-step programs and what changed his mind
[17:00] Discovering Community and Connection to Source
The power of community support without needing to "have it figured out"
Developing personal definitions of God and spirituality outside institutional frameworks
Moving from being the "director, actor, and stage crew" of his life to surrendering control
How sobriety opened access to life force energy he could see in nature
[18:00] Finding Your Signal: The Anger Phase
A month of intense anger as suppressed feelings surfaced
"Chopping shit" in his life—relationships, expenses, boundary violations
People saying "you're not the nice guy you usually are" and his response
Learning to say no to clients who wouldn't pay: "I love you, I'm here at service, but I can't do it"
[23:00] Creativity Unleashed: When the Fire Ignites
How sobriety awakened musical expression he never knew he had
Morning practices with Native American flute and shruti box
The overwhelming nature of creative energy and learning to ground it
Writing, gardening, and music as natural expressions of his authentic self
[40:00] Redefining Sobriety Beyond Substances
Edward: "Real contact with reality, feeling everything there is to feel"
Josh: "Tapping into the true essence of who you are"
How sobriety extends beyond drugs to include presence vs. workaholism
The advancement of emotional intelligence as a civilization
Key Quotes
"I realized there were a lot of layers blocking me getting to know who I am—like me knowing me, for Christ's sake, let alone algebra or the hermetic principles. I've been avoiding getting to know this guy here." - Edward Zaydelman
"The biggest gift has been feeling my own signal. Because there was shit that happened that I was just pissed about for a month, and I started fucking chopping shit in my life." - Edward Zaydelman
"My creativity is on fire. I'm coming up with ideas... I start to cry because I'll walk and I'll feel so much because it's different now. It's personal." - Edward Zaydelman
"Sobriety to me means really being in touch with reality, feeling everything there is to feel and experiencing what it is to feel wholeness as a human." - Edward Zaydelman
"For me, it's tapping into the true essence of who you are. Your true being... the most authentic version of yourself." - Josh Woll
Resources Mentioned
Marijuana Anonymous (MA) - 12-step program for marijuana addiction
Recovery Dharma - Buddhist-inspired recovery community
Leap Forward - Personal development program mentioned by Edward
Sacred Growth Club - Writing community on Substack that connected Josh and Edward
Native American drone flute tuned to 432 Hz (Schumann resonance)
Shruti box - Harmonium-style instrument for vocal toning
Where to Find Edward Zaydelman
Website: https://www.livethepossibility.co
Substack: Live the Possibility
Instagram: @edwardzaydelman
Connect through The Sacred Business Writing Collective on Substack
Thank You
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who joined us live for this conversation, and to
for his extraordinary openness and wisdom. Special appreciation to and for their thoughtful questions in the chat that deepened our exploration. Your presence and engagement make these conversations possible.What's Next
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Each step forward is an act of creative rebellion.
Thanks for walking this path with me.
Josh
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