In this episode of Clear Conversations: Creative Minds in Sobriety, I had the privilege of speaking with
, a sober coach, mentor, and writer whose journey from shame to liberation mirrors what so many of us experience in our relationship with alcohol.Ellie's story begins with a familiar struggle—using alcohol to escape emotional pain and feeling trapped in a cycle she couldn't break free from. After her mother passed when she was just 14, Ellie learned to be "the good girl," holding her emotions inside until alcohol became her release valve at university. For over a decade, she lived with the shame of feeling dependent on something that everyone around her seemed to handle "normally." When she discovered Annie Grace's book This Naked Mind in 2018, everything changed. What started as a personal transformation has blossomed into a mission to guide others toward the freedom she found.
What struck me most about our conversation was Ellie's unwavering compassion—both for herself and for others walking this path. She's living proof that the other side of alcohol isn't just about abstinence; it's about creating a life where sobriety requires no effort because you've addressed the root causes that led you to drink in the first place.
Show Notes
[00:02:50] - The Pre-Sobriety Journey
Ellie started drinking at 16, with consumption accelerating dramatically at university
Following her mother's death at 14, Ellie had suppressed her grief, using alcohol to cope with emotions she was afraid to feel
Despite appearing successful with a career and relationship, she was drinking daily and using alcohol as the answer to everything
Lived with tremendous shame about her inability to control her drinking, thinking there must be "something wrong with me"
[00:06:40] - The Book That Changed Everything
Discovered This Naked Mind by Annie Grace through a BuzzFeed article on reducing drinking
Over 20 months, she went from 365 days of drinking to just 20 occasions in that first year
Had her last drink on December 26, 2019, and experienced complete freedom from the desire to drink
"I honestly feel like I've been given a second chance at life. I never imagined I could have this life."
[00:11:01] - Learning to Be With Emotions
Ellie shares the practice of "focusing" - creating space between yourself and your emotions
Rather than saying "I am anxious," she learned to say "something in me is feeling anxious right now"
This approach creates distance that allows for compassion toward the feeling part of yourself
Mindful self-compassion became essential—treating herself with kindness rather than cruelty
[00:14:35] - Creativity Without Alcohol
Ellie had believed she needed alcohol to write, having identified as a writer since childhood
Was willing to give up writing completely if necessary to achieve sobriety
Instead of losing creativity, she found greater creative capacity after getting sober
Completed an MA in Creative and Life Writing, which she'd wanted to do for 10 years
[00:17:31] - From Personal Journey to Professional Passion
After getting sober, Ellie completely reassessed her values and what mattered to her
Trained as a life coach and specifically as a sober coach
Finding purpose in helping others escape the shame cycle she experienced
"To go from a place where I was full of so much shame... to be here now is just such a gift"
[00:24:02] - The Messy Reality of Transformation
Ellie discussed how change isn't about sudden epiphanies but gradual, non-linear progress
"It's slow and steady and one step forward. And then maybe a step back and maybe you fall down and you get back up"
The neuroplasticity of our brains requires repetition and patience
Learning to create new patterns and responses takes time—for both sobriety and self-compassion
[00:29:22] - The Role of Meditation and Presence
Josh shared how consistent meditation practice (currently 243 days of his 365-day goal) has been transformative
Ellie recognized that presence and mindfulness happen in everyday moments too
Reading to her son became a form of meditation when approached with full presence
Both discussed how these practices affect everything else in life
Key Quotes
"I honestly feel like I've been given a second chance at life. I never imagined I could have this life. And so I'm obviously so passionate about sharing this with other people who might feel the way I felt all those years ago." - Ellie Nova
"It's slow and steady and one step forward. And then maybe a step back and maybe you fall down and you get back up and you practice and practice and you remember and you forget and it's okay. And it's imperfect and messy. And that's what life is." - Ellie Nova
"I was full of so much shame... to be here now is just what a gift. I'm just so grateful. It's so nice to talk about it because it just reminds me of the gift I feel I've been given and hopefully can share with other people as well." - Ellie Nova
"Something in me is feeling anxious right now. It just allows that little bit of pausing and just being with that part, which helps that part to feel safe and know it's being listened to." - Ellie Nova
Resources Mentioned
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace - The book that changed Ellie's relationship with alcohol
Focusing - A practice for creating space between yourself and your emotions
Mindful Self-Compassion - Learning to treat yourself with kindness rather than cruelty
Beautiful You Academy - Where Ellie trained as a life coach
The Sober Club - Where Ellie completed her sober coach training with Janie Lee Grace
Where to Find Ellie Nova
Website: www.ellie-nova.com
Substack: A Little Fantastic Sober Life
Instagram: @ellienovacoaching
Thank You
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who joined us live for this conversation, and to
for her extraordinary compassion and wisdom. Your presence and engagement make these conversations possible.What's Next
☀️ The Sober Creative is more than a newsletter.
It’s a movement—and now, a growing community of creatives choosing clarity.
✍️ Read the Essays (free)
Stories and strategies for building a clear, intentional creative life without substances.
🎙️ Join Clear Conversations (free)
Live interviews with artists and entrepreneurs navigating sobriety and deep creative purpose.
🧘 Try a Guided Meditation (free/paid)
Short, powerful practices to reconnect with your creative voice and ground your nervous system.
🌟 Go Premium (paid)
Support this work and unlock full access:
Extended guided meditations
Exclusive live meditation sessions
Priority Q&A and community insights
Become a paid subscriber for $8/month
👥 Founding Members (paid)
Founding members receive lifetime access, a 1:1 coaching session with me, and the opportunity to help shape the experience and future offerings of The Sober Creative—without changing its core mission.
Join as a founding member for $240/year
💬 Let’s connect
Book a free coffee chat if you’re curious about coaching, community, or just want to say hey.
🧭 Feeling ready?
Explore Unfiltered Creation — a 90-day 1:1 coaching experience to align your work, sobriety, and purpose.
Each step forward is an act of creative rebellion.
Thanks for walking this path with me.
Josh
Share this post