We can keep choosing comfort, but life is going to find a way to invite us for more.
I never thought of myself as a person who had a “problem” with drinking. When given the task, even if absolutely necessary, I could still get shit done if I drank heavy the night before. I suppose this is why I never considered alcohol was an issue. I was a high functioning alcoholic. I pushed through and produce mediocre work. I chose comfort over confidence. I rewarded myself for the hard work I put in. This was permission to maintain my baseline of functioning.
Five years into my sobriety I’ve flipped function on its head. I’m expanding into areas of life I didn’t realize was possible.
Let’s talk about a specific part of your brain for a minute because you’re going to see this referenced here a number of times. Just so you know, this is one area of focus. The impacts of drinking spread much further.
🧠 The prefrontal cortex (PC) is basically your brain's CEO - it's the front part of your head that makes you uniquely human. This is where all your higher-level thinking happens: decision-making, planning for tomorrow, controlling impulses, and figuring out how to navigate complex situations without just reacting on autopilot. It's literally your personality center - the part that takes in what's happening right now, compares it to your past experiences, and helps you respond thoughtfully instead of just going with your first instinct. When this area gets compromised (i.e. even one drink), you lose access to your best thinking and default to more primitive, reactive patterns. It's the difference between responding from wisdom versus just reacting from impulse - and it's why protecting this part of your brain through clear living is so crucial for creativity and authentic self-expression.
Function For Performance
Common phrase: “I can still function and drink”
If I needed to get work done after a heavy night of drinking, I could still function enough to power through. Not being my best though meant I wasn’t giving my best to my clients. I performed at the level provided, which wasn’t much. If I’m being honest, when I think about my ability to function while I was drinking, my experience was more concerning. I was blocked from creating. Actual time to even create anything. For me, most days meant creating equaled recovering. The only focus I had was to sleep and hydrate, and then push through the day. I was way below my baseline.
🧠 Your PF is what separates functional from exceptional. It's the difference between pushing through a project and creating breakthrough work. This region controls three critical functions for creative professionals: working memory (holding multiple ideas in your head while you problem-solve), cognitive flexibility (switching between different concepts and approaches), and inhibitory control (resisting distractions and staying focused on complex tasks). Alcohol directly suppresses neural activity in this area - reducing the electrical signals between brain cells and decreasing blood flow to the region. Even one drink impairs your ability to hold creative concepts in working memory, switch fluidly between ideas, and maintain the deep focus required for quality work. When you're "functioning" on alcohol, your brain literally can't access its full creative processing power. When you're recovering from alcohol, inflammation and depleted neurotransmitters keep this system offline entirely. Either way, the very brain functions that determine the quality of your creative output are compromised.
Function For Fear
Common phrase: “I’m not good at public speaking”
There was a time in high school where I was asked to give a presentation along with a group. I had to put myself out there in front of everyone. To be watched. To be questioned. To be judged. My voice was trembling, hands shaking, stomach rattling. “I want to hide, when will this be over as soon as possible?” There were situations that happened in my past that lead to this belief I wasn’t enough to be up there speaking my truth. And all of the internal responses and emotions of how I felt during the presentation reinforced this belief. Therefore creating a chain of events of me avoiding public speaking for the majority of my life. Alcohol was a device that would sooth this discomfort. “I can’t do this, I’m not good at it.” Any speaking opportunity that would present itself, my subconscious mind had already started working to avoid it and keeping me hidden from accessing the confidence within.
🧠 Your PF is your fear regulation headquarters - it's what should calm your nervous system and help you access clear thinking under pressure. This region controls three critical functions during high-stakes moments: emotional regulation (dampening the fight-or-flight response), cognitive control (overriding automatic avoidance impulses), and working memory (maintaining your planned thoughts while speaking). But alcohol disrupts the neurotransmitter GABA, which normally helps this region stay calm under pressure, while simultaneously reducing activity in the areas responsible for rational thought. When you drink before speaking, you're not building confidence - you're chemically bypassing the very system that should be learning to handle the stress naturally. When you avoid speaking and drink to cope with the shame, alcohol floods your brain with artificial calm while keeping your prefrontal cortex from developing actual resilience to social pressure. Either way, you're preventing the neural pathways that create genuine confidence from ever forming, ensuring that being seen always feels threatening.
Function For Reward
Common phrase: “I’ve earned this drink”
Even to this very moment of writing these words, I still deal with imposter syndrome. That voice whispers quietly at the end of the day, “You still didn’t do enough.” I know what my body feels like in this moment. My eyes feel heavy. My breathing is shallow. There is tension in so many areas of my face. What do I want in this moment? Comfort. What is one of the easiest solutions to solve that problem? Alcohol. It doesn’t matter how much I do in the day, my mind will not remember all of it by the end. With that said, imagine how many times I check my phone for notifications? How many times I check my phone for emails? Think of ALL the tasks, the conversations, the requests, the visual stimuli when you go out in public and what’s in your pocket. It’s endless. And it all sucks the energy right of you.
🧠 Your PF is your stress management and decision-making center - it's what should help you process the day's overload and make healthy choices about recovery. This region controls three critical functions during high-stress periods: executive attention (filtering out distractions and focusing on what matters), emotional regulation (managing frustration and overwhelm), and impulse control (choosing long-term wellbeing over immediate relief). But alcohol disrupts the dopamine pathways that naturally reward productive accomplishment, while simultaneously impairing the neural networks responsible for rational decision-making. When you drink to "reward" yourself after a demanding day, you're hijacking the brain's natural satisfaction system and teaching it that external substances, not internal achievement, provide relief. When alcohol interferes with REM sleep, it prevents your prefrontal cortex from consolidating the day's experiences and resetting for optimal performance. Either way, you're undermining the very system that should be building resilience to modern demands, ensuring that each day feels more overwhelming than the last because your brain never gets the genuine recovery it needs to handle the cognitive load.
The Flourish Effect
What I discovered after years of sobriety surprised me. My brain didn't just heal - it evolved into something more capable than it had ever been.
Flourish comes from Latin florere (“to bloom”) - grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.
By removing alcohol, I have created an environment that allows me to grow in a more authentic, creative way. Alcohol was the weeds invading every part of my life. By removing this, it opened a pathway for me to focus on the areas of my life that matter to me: meditation for my mind, nutrition for my body, exercise for my energy, rest for my wellbeing.
Here's what happens to your creative brain after 5 years of sobriety:
Immediate Recovery (0-90 days):
Your working memory stabilizes - you can finally hold multiple project ideas without losing track
Creative focus returns as inflammation in your brain decreases
The dopamine system that rewards genuine accomplishment starts rebalancing
Deep Healing (1-2 years):
Communication between brain regions rebuilds - ideas flow more fluidly between concept and execution
Emotional regulation improves - you can handle client feedback and creative criticism without reaching for a drink
Impulse control strengthens - you choose long-term creative growth over immediate comfort
Continued Transformation (3+ years):
Your prefrontal cortex doesn't just recover - it exceeds its original capacity
The discipline you've built through sobriety (consistent sleep, nutrition, exercise) has trained your brain like a muscle
Creative problem-solving, sustained attention, and breakthrough thinking operate at levels you never accessed while drinking
My prefrontal cortex seems to be functioning better than it did pre-sobriety, not just because damage has been reversed, but because I’ve now had the time and energy to strengthen habits around meditation, fitness, nutrition, and rest. The reinforcement and discipline around these areas have expanded my functioning.
Life continues to find ways to invite me and evolve. The capabilities I once thought I would never be able to access have become the exact areas of truth I’ve now found in myself.
It all began with a choice.
Life is giving you the choice right now to see what patterns may be limiting your creative potential.
What a brilliant and clear explanation of how the prefrontal cortex works. Thanks. I learnt a lot from reading this.