“I learned that creativity doesn’t come in a vial of white powder.” This wisdom from record producer Keith Olson after getting sober at Betty Ford became a touchstone for Stephanie Raffelock—a reminder that authentic creative power emerges not from substances, but from facing “the raw chaos and mud that grows the lotus within you.”
At seventy-something, Stephanie embodies “Ancora imparo”—still, I am learning. Her journey from being abandoned in Los Angeles at 17, through a decade of drug abuse in the “tune in, turn on, drop out” era, to becoming an award-winning author reveals how creativity can become what she calls “a doorway to the examined life.” In our conversation, she shares how a pivotal moment in her thirties—winning first place in a writing contest with a story about a woman searching for a new way of living—changed everything. That validation, she explains, showed her that “we don’t realize sometimes what it means when somebody praises us, supports us, encourages us, how uplifting that can be to our better self.”
Now the author of A Delightful Little Book on Aging and creator of the Creative Eldering Substack, Stephanie offers a counter-narrative to our youth-obsessed culture. Her message: the world doesn’t owe us anything because of our age, but we owe the world our gratitude, generosity of spirit, and goodwill. For anyone navigating sobriety at any stage of life, her wisdom about daily emotional sobriety, the discipline of showing up to the blank page, and finding beauty even in difficult times offers a roadmap for thriving—not just surviving.
Show Notes
[03:24] From Drug Abuse to Creative Discovery
Stephanie shares her early story of being abandoned at 17 and spending a decade in drug abuse, coming of age when “tune in, turn on, drop out” was the cultural message.
Self-disdain and addiction often mask deeper psychic pain we can’t yet articulate
The entertainment industry exposed her to writers, planting seeds for her own creative future
A pivotal question at her Unity church—”How do you know when you’re doing God’s will?”—changed everything
Key insight: Going back to school in her 30s became the greatest act of self-love, proving it’s never too late to heal old wounds
[07:49] The Validation That Changes Everything
After earning her GED and entering community college, Stephanie entered her first short story in a seven-college contest—and won first place.
“Piano Bar Blues” was about a young woman searching for a new way of living
The college flew her to Washington State to receive the award
That moment of validation opened doors and changed her self-concept entirely
Key insight: Praise, support, and encouragement can uplift us to our better selves in ways we don’t always recognize in the moment
[09:02] How Art Keeps Hope Alive in Difficult Times
Stephanie tells the story of her father in post-WWII Berlin, where he collected drawings from local artists, paying with candy bars and cigarettes.
Her father kept these pastoral drawings wrapped in army blankets under his bed for decades
The art was created during horrific times—bombs dropping, danger everywhere—yet remained beautiful
“That’s hope hanging on my wall,” she says of the framed drawings in her home
Key insight: Creativity helps us thrive even in difficult times because beauty is always available to us
[16:11] The Daily Practice of Writing
Stephanie describes her writing process as both discipline and spiritual practice.
Faces the blank page every morning, questioning if she has anything to say
Writes daily, journals by hand (uses a different part of the brain), and misses very few days
Studies story structure from teachers like Robert McKee and Larry Brooks
Key insight: The arc of story mirrors the arc of life—call to journey, resistance, conflict, and transformation
[25:30] Writing as a Doorway to the Examined Life
Despite making less than $10,000 annually from writing, Stephanie continues because writing serves a deeper purpose.
Writing is her vehicle for psychological and spiritual growth
It’s not about perfection—”even Quaker quilts have deliberate imperfections”
The way we talk to ourselves is often so mean we would never speak to another person that way
Key insight: Hitting publish always requires vulnerability, but vulnerability is part of the liberation that creativity offers
[31:15] Creativity Doesn’t Come in a Vial
Stephanie recalls advice from record producer Keith Olson after he got sober at Betty Ford: “I learned that creativity doesn’t come in a vial of white powder.”
Creativity comes from the raw chaos and mud that grows the lotus within you
Sobriety requires facing the stuff you’d rather not, but that’s where authentic creativity lives
In historic times like these, we need daily emotional sobriety check-ins
Key insight: Balance is essential—turn off the TV, skip the compulsive eating, take a walk in the woods instead of numbing out
Key Quotes
“You know you’re doing God’s will when you’re in touch with the deepest desires of your heart and you begin to act upon those.” - Stephanie Raffelock
“Writing, for me, is a doorway into the examined life. Creativity has a lot of different purposes, both personal and collective... Our creativity, our art, is really our greatest hope. It’s what helps keep humanity alive.” - Stephanie Raffelock
“Creativity doesn’t come in a vial of white powder. Creativity is going to come from the raw chaos and mud that grows the lotus that’s in you, the stuff you’ve got to face but maybe would rather not.” - Stephanie Raffelock
“The world doesn’t owe us anything because of our age, but we owe the world our gratitude, generosity of spirit, and goodwill.” - Stephanie Raffelock
“Can you walk through these times, through this history, and stay emotionally sober?” - Stephanie Raffelock
Resources Mentioned
Books: Homer’s The Odyssey
Writing Teachers: Robert McKee, Larry Brooks, Sean Coyne
Journaling Experts: Christina Baldwin, Natalie Goldberg
Stephanie’s Books: A Delightful Little Book on Aging, Creatrix Rising
Concept: Ancora imparo (”Still, I am learning”) - attributed to 86-year-old Michelangelo
Treatment Center: Betty Ford
Where to Find Stephanie
Books: Available on Amazon and Bookshop.org
Website: https://www.byline-stephanie.com
Contact: Message her directly on Substack—she’s happy to chat
Your Creative Work Awaits
Stephanie’s story demonstrates something powerful: creativity isn’t reserved for the young or the unburdened. It’s available to anyone willing to sit with the blank page, face their inner chaos, and commit to the examined life.
If you’re reading this and sensing that alcohol has become the barrier between you and your greatest creative work, you’re not alone. The artists, writers, and creatives I work with discover that sobriety doesn’t diminish their art—it deepens it. Without the haze, your authentic voice emerges. Without the numbing, you access the raw material that transforms into meaningful work.
The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day journey designed specifically for creative professionals ready to remove alcohol as the obstacle to their breakthrough work. Through coaching, community, and proven frameworks, you’ll discover what Stephanie learned decades ago: your creativity doesn’t come from a substance. It comes from you.
Curious about your next step? Reach out. Coaching, community, or clarity—it all starts with a conversation.
Thank You
A heartfelt thank you to
, , , and many others who joined us live for this conversation, and to for her extraordinary wisdom and generosity of spirit. Your presence and engagement make these conversations possible.What’s Next
The Sober Creative is more than a newsletter—it’s a movement of professionals reclaiming their creativity by choosing clarity over coping.
🎯 Take the Clarity Quiz: This assessment reveals certain patterns where alcohol may be the exact thing that is quietly sabotaging your creative potential. It’s free and only takes a few minutes.
✍️ Read the Essays: Stories and strategies for building a clear, creative, and intentional life.
🎙️ Join Clear Conversations: Honest talks with creative professionals navigating the intersection of sobriety, self-discovery, and breakthrough work.
💬 Curious about your next step? If you’re sensing that something’s holding you back, but you’re not sure what—reach out. Coaching, community, or clarity—it all starts with a conversation.
✨ The Sober Creative Method™ is a 90-day journey to remove alcohol as the barrier to your greatest work.
Each step forward is an act of becoming who you’re meant to be.
Thanks for walking this path with me.
Josh
P.S. Missed previous episodes? Browse the Clear Conversations archive to explore more conversations with creative minds in sobriety.
